The economic crisis we are just beginning to step into could usher in a new era of broken relationships thanks to the burden of financial stress.
As part of its 2015 report “Measures of National Happiness,” the National Bureau of Statistics found that people put “money worries” at the top of their list of issues that strain their relationships. Did.
In total, 62% of respondents chose this option as their worst option, with ‘long working hours’ second at 40%. Thank you capitalism.
Interestingly, 36% thought cheating was the most costly to couples. In other words, when money problems are combined with cheating, your relationship will be very difficult.
In 2014, The Washington Post published an article titled “The Economics of Adultery.” The article looked at data from dating sites for those seeking extramarital affairs and showed that membership increased by 166% worldwide in 2008 for her and him.of a severe financial crisis
Now, in the midst of the cost of living crisis, with stressful winter energy price hikes on the horizon, we can see a similar pattern emerging. Illicit Encounters, for Married People Dating site saw a 169% surge in new members in the weeks of July and August.
So what are the financial stresses that drive people to infidelity?
One site user from the south of England who joined the website on August 2 said:
Regular arguments over bills and expenses pushed me over the edge and made me want to kick him out of the house. It reduces stress and improves life at home. ”
“Financial pressures are often cited as the number one reason for divorce, and it’s easy to see why.
“The tension creeps in when you worry about where you are going to live or how you will pay for food.
“Maybe one partner is angry with the other for not being a better provider, or is trying to escape their relationship and wider issues by cheating.” When is forever out of reach, it becomes difficult to maintain romance.
Counseling Directory member Dee Johnson agrees that escapism may play a role.
she says: ‘[It could be caused by] Naturally, the need to escape reality when home life has become so stressful, negative, and even toxic. let me down. So for couples, this can result in constant quarrels, quarrels, resentment, and a lack of affection and intimacy.
“Feelings of failure and inadequacy drain and shatter self-esteem.
“The desire and fantasies of having an affair create a flood of happy hormones and euphoria that cloud us from the reality of being in a serious relationship with that person (i.e. their financial problems, frustrating Habits, etc.).Of course, it will be thrilling and fascinating.
“For some, it may be revenge, a way to hurt their partner if they are hurt. Finances are such a big factor for people who have to maintain a relationship.
Cheating and flirting boosts self-confidence, perhaps making people feel “alive” and desired when these feelings are gone.
“In those prime moments, I don’t think about the consequences or the risks I’m taking,” she adds.
So how do you keep money worries from tearing your relationship apart?
“To avoid the pressure of the cost of living rolling into your relationship, be realistic about what money means to you,” advises Haley.
“For many people, it’s more than just paying your utility bills. In fact, money can be tied to your security and identity. while another partner may experience this as embarrassment.
“Do what you can to work on this as a team. If you’re cutting back, try investing time in each other, even if you don’t have a date night budget.
“Take a picnic and walk somewhere you’ve never been before. Turn off your cell phone, cook a home-cooked dinner, and take the time to really listen to each other.”
Counseling Directory member John-Paul Davies agrees that communication and teamwork are key.
“This communication is intended to keep both parties on the same page about how we perceive the crisis, how we deal with it, and how we make the necessary changes. No, but the goal is likely to be the same: to get through this important challenge together in the best possible way.
“Approaching as a team allows us to take responsibility and accountability for our roles and play to our strengths. Well, for others, their skill might be finding ways to save money.
“As long as we continue to talk, listen, share life experiences in general, share the joys of life as much as we can, and remain empathetic to each other as much as possible, we give our relationships the best possible chance. to survive unscathed, possibly even stronger as a result.
It is also important to take care of yourself as an independent person outside the relationship unit, not in the form of cheating.
“If you can keep both your own and someone else’s stress levels in check, you need to make sure you’re helping yourself feel better in a way that’s in your best interest. there is.
“This can be more difficult in a cost of living crisis as these methods often cost money. It might be worth spending some time thinking about what it might be like for you.
Dee says it’s important not to blame each other when things get tough.
“We think we know our partners well, but when we are really stressed or anxious, we have no idea what is going on with them. , no matter how close you are, it’s not always accurate when you’re upset. Is the same.
“Share your concerns, be brave, and include any that may feel like irrational fears. The point is, irrational or not, you feel it. Therefore, it affects your thoughts and actions, causing negative and upsetting emotions.
“Don’t invalidate each other’s thoughts. The most destructive and derogatory words you can say to someone is ‘You shouldn’t/don’t feel that way..’. It is not surprising that regular ignoring leads naturally to someone who, consciously or unconsciously, listens to the person’s feelings and acknowledges what they are going through.
While there are couples for whom ethical non-monogamy may move forward, Hailey cautions that you shouldn’t choose this just because you need a little escape from reality.
she said: For others, ethical non-monogamy (having consensual sexual relationships with other partners) may feel like breathing life into an existing relationship.
But don’t make radical changes to your relationship’s DNA to stir up the escapist itch. Please keep in mind that it is a style choice.
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